Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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