What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
