He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
