why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
