Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
