Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
