and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
