Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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