You really coming over, don't trick.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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