True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
