love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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