so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
