would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
