And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
