I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
