we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize