We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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