I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
