the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize