I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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