I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
