Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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