I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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