Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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