She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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