I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize