tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize