sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize