this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
