I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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