i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize