So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
