Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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