he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
