Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
