we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's never too late to be topless.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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