Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
