Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
