i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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