they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
