So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
