arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
