She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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