i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
