The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
