yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
