Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
