susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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