ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
