at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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