So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
