..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
