maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
