with your own penis?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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