we have pet lesbian snakes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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