You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
