a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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