bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
