Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
