What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Never let your siblings swipe right.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
